why discipline is necessary to be happy
don't do things that give you short term pleasure. prioritize things that make you feel fulfilled in the long term.
the classic examples: alcohol will make you feel great and fun in the moment, but long term your health and mind will deteriorate and the fun you have on alcohol, you may realize at some point is not really sustained (friends you are friends with because of alcohol are often not so good friends).
and then the opposite would be working out, which might feel hard or draining while doing it but will make you feel awesome long term. there's also a third category of things that are both pleasurable and healthy, like spending time with friends, good food, sometimes working out or sex.
the problem is that although you know this on a mental level, it's hard to overcome our limbic brain. getting another dopamine rush on instagram or through drugs or by just chilling on the couch really seems like the better choice in the moment.
that's where discipline comes into play. it's basically a force within yourself that can be developed, that lets you do things that you don't want to do. it's different from motivation in the sense that you actually might not want to do what you are about to do, but still do it.
there's actually a part of the brain responsible for this - the anterior cingulate cortex. it's bigger in endurance athletes and smaller in obese people. Studies show that the ACC, responsible for impulse control and self-regulation, is larger and more active in endurance athletes compared to obese individuals, with research demonstrating thicker ACC in trained athletes and reduced ACC volume in obesity associated with impaired executive function.
that knowledge really helps me to choose the harder thing because i know it will grow that area and help me to make this choice easier in the future.
what also helps is sitting down and making clear to yourself, by contemplation, that these short term things really won't make you happy. and you already have proof of that based on your life experience. it's a rational choice to make and then to stick to it.
you might also need less discipline and less pressure
some people are on the side of the spectrum, and constantly optimize every hour, feel guilty relaxing, and turn everything into something productive. if you're like that you actually might need to do more things that are just pleasurable, without any outcome.
but if you default to scrolling when bored, feel vaguely dissatisfied most days, know what you should do but keep avoiding it - then yeah, you probably need more discipline to actually feeling content.
how to actually build this
so how do you develop discipline? part of it is protecting your dopamine system. here are evidence-based strategies for managing dopamine effectively:
- have a daily time off from stimulating activity - periodic abstinence (1-4 hours daily) from stimulating activities restores receptor sensitivity and improves motivation
- work in 90-minute cycles - align high-dopamine tasks with natural brain peaks and use troughs for low-stimulation activities like walking or meditation
- remove tech - weekly 24-hour digital detox periods restore baseline dopamine function and improve sleep quality
- exercise - 30-45 minutes of moderate exercise 3-4x weekly optimizes dopamine through D2 receptor activation, but avoid excessive exercise that depletes stores
- meditate - 10-15 minutes daily increases dopamine tone in the prefrontal cortex through enhanced connectivity and receptor density
- cold exposure - 2-3 minute cold showers trigger dopamine release through sympathetic activation, with sustained elevation for hours after exposure
- good sleep - consistent sleep schedule maintains dopamine receptor recycling, as poor sleep reduces receptor availability by 20%
key principle: the science emphasizes intermittent rather than constant dopamine stimulation to maintain receptor sensitivity, with predictable reward schedules being less harmful than variable, unpredictable rewards that create addictive patterns.
what it actually feels like
the other day i had a long fucking day. i woke up feeling a bit sad and would have preferred to just stay in bed. it was a holiday so most people could relax, but i'm self-employed and we had a call scheduled with a client, so had to work.
i went to the office and started working. without knowing it, i would not stop for the next 8 hours. just very intense focus, solving things, thinking deeply. i was totally brain fried afterwards, then met with my uncle who was in town, then went home and had around an hour before a friend would come.
when i arrived home, i laid on the couch to decompress. and i felt so happy. it was fascinating that although the work itself was not pleasurable, and especially before starting it there was no motivation for it, afterwards i was deeply content.
that's the thing about discipline. it doesn't feel good in the moment. sometimes it doesn't even feel good during. but afterwards, there's this quiet satisfaction that no amount of scrolling or instant gratification can give you.