why i walked away from my startup right when it was about to lift off

a few weeks ago i started waking up feeling very exhausted, and unexcited about starting work.
i would force myself to go and during the day it was fine. but then in the evening, when i came home, i would feel drained and empty.

probably some here will think: ah man, you just needed to push through, that's what it takes to make a startup successful.

and i agree. it's true. in order to build a successful company it does take pushing through these difficult phases.

however, i realized i don't want to optimize for a successful company.
and especially not one that doesn't feel important to me.

i want to optimize for a successful life.

what's the purpose of a successful company if the company itself is not actually that important? then i'm just sacrificing my life for… money? status?

there are so many issues in our world, and i'm gonna put my energy and gifts into something whose purpose is to… generate money?

so i decided to stop. feels weird. feels scary. maybe this was wrong.

the business was in a good place. we had a live client, and another one ready to start that would pay 16k/year. we had a distribution partnership to reach 800 clinics. we had 35k of the 100k we were raising secured, and were in the last round of conversations with two angel funds for 100k more.

from the outside it might seem like we stopped right before we took off.

and still… a little voice in me was telling me i was lying to myself. that i could keep going, but it wouldn't make me happy.

in the final days we had very loving conversations with my cofounder. we held space for each other to see what we actually want in life, and which options besides the company lead to that.

i guess i'll see in a bit if this was the right decision.